Conversation

Me: I came over to visit my schnooky puppy an’ snuddle her little puppy self and kiss her puppy nose.
Mumsy: Why are you like this?
Me: Oh, hey, Mumsy, you should do a guest review on my blog!
Mumsy: No.
Me: Yes!  Mumsy, you should!  What about all those reviews you do on GoodReads and LibraryThing?  I could just–
Mumsy: No!  They’re no good!
Me: Oh, Mumsy.  The bar that has been set by me is oh so very very low.
Mumsy: Oh I don’t want to.
Me: Come on!  It’ll be fun!  I’ll be all, Heeeeeeere’s Mumsy!  And that’ll be you, you’re Mumsy!  I could post your review of the leper colony book.
Mumsy: Did you want to read that, by the way?
Me: No.  I hate lepers.
Mumsy: *moment of thinking I’m serious*
Me: I’m going to talk baby talk to the puppy until you agree to do a guest review on my blog.  Ready?  Oh, she be a snuddly puppy, I puts her on my lap and I snuddles her affeshonately, cause she have a puppy face and she sniff me wid her puppy nose.  She likes it when I rubs her belly meat.  I sit wid the baby and I rub her belly meat cause that’s when she be happy.  Oh she’s so–
Mumsy: I’m leaving.
Me: And I loves to scoop up the baby puppy – holy crap this dog is heavy – and follow my mommy around her house.  Cause we likes our mommy, doesn’t we, baby puppy, cause she have pretty curly hair and she–
Mumsy: I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO MOVE AWAY.

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45 thoughts on “Conversation

    • Well, I asked her before to do it, and she wouldn’t agree. I wouldn’t have had to break out the big guns if she’d just agreed to it straightaway.

  1. You crack me up 😀

    I always enjoy the comments your mother leaves you (and felt honoured that I got a Mumsy comment of my own on my EBB & EB post!) and can’t wait for the guest review.

    • My mumsy loves EBB & RB. Every two months or so since I introduced those letters to her, she’s read through them all over again. She cannot resist them. 🙂

      Mumsy – Everybody loves her blog. She is agreed by many to be an Extremely Detrimental Blog to those of us trying to winnow down our TBR lists.

  2. Bwahahaha! Oh, I needed that this afternoon, thank you. I’m excited for (and jealous of) the guest review; I think it would take miles more badgering than just continuous puppy-voice to get either of my parents to write a review.

    • You say that now, but you have not heard my puppy voice. In addition to saying really nauseating things, as you see, I talk in a really nauseating voice. Its annoying qualities cannot be appreciated on the words alone. Plus, my mother already writes reviews, and she posts them on LibraryThing, so I think the fact of them being around already makes it easy for her to do a guest review.

      • She’s not exagerrating at all. Seriously, I only heard her puppy voice when she was first beginning to develop it, and it was pretty awful then. And I have great confidence in her ability to make it even more nauseating. Her skills at making her voice nauseating are very impressive.

    • YES! Well, it depends. She said I can go through her LibraryThing reviews and pick my favorite (I picked a favorite but haven’t told her yet), but I am also hoping she will write one special just for us. We’ll see!

    • She’s pretty big. She’s nearly as big as Brenna. And my puppy-talk only looks like it sounds like Gollum. My puppy-voice is completely unlike Gollum’s. And I didn’t make up “belly meat”! Ms. Trish did! I was trying to be as bad as possible, but in my defense, I did not invent the phrase “belly meat”.

    • No but really, if you could hear my puppy voice – I have a special puppy voice as well as the puppy baby talk – you would see, it hardly sounds like Gollum at all. Though I will grant you the syntax is similar. 😛

    • She has agreed! At first I was just going to take one she’d already written for LibraryThing (I may still do that TOO), but last time we talked she said she might write a whole new one. 🙂

    • You’re welcome! Though I suspect the puppy voice would not have worked if my mother didn’t already secretly yearn to do a guest review on my blog. (YES YOU DID MUMSY DO NOT DENY IT xoxo love your favorite daughter Jenny)

  3. Man, I love your conversations! And that you call your mum Mumsy. I call mine Mumsie; same pronunciation (I assume), but a slightly different spelling.

    • Do you really? I thought I was the only one! We do it because my friend had this British friend in high school, and he got frustrated with American stereotypes of Brits, I guess? And he told her “It’s not all teacakes in the garden with Mumsy and James the Butler, you know!” I thought it was funny and started calling her that all the time. 😉

      • My reason is less awesome, unfortunately. I just like to give people silly nicknames. I call my mother Mumsie and my father Padre. Collectively, I call them Family. As in, “Hola, Family, what are y’all doing tomorrow?”

    • She’s making noises about reviewing one of her cool theology books. She got a master’s degree in pastoral theology and has loads of interesting books about women and feminism and religion. I’m hoping she’ll do it, she is so full of interesting knowledge. 🙂

  4. Ha! I just had a flashback to my sister bugging my mom for something when we were kids— mom, mommy, ma, mama… Ah, memories. 🙂

    • Mm, yeah, my sisters and I sort of still do that. Sometimes! A bit! But only because my mother acts like she’s listening and then tunes us out! 😛

    • I think she secretly wanted to do a guest review. And was shy. Or possibly she really has only agreed to this so I will stop pestering her. It’s difficult to say.

    • Bonus: From what she’s said (she may change her mind), I’m anticipating it will be a review of a very good Women Unbound sort of book. Yay, I love that challenge and I feel like I have been neglecting it this month.

  5. Pingback: Guest review: Blankets, Craig Thompson « Jenny's Books

  6. Oooh, thanks for the new phrases of the baby-talk language. I’m going to try them out on the cat, who gets her share of silly baby-talk.

    More importantly, I never though of using this language “motivationally” on third parties! Brilliant!

    • You are WELCOME. The word “snuddle” is my own invention, but the puppy voice and most of its phrases came from a family friend. I jokingly imitated her puppy voice for so long it became my default way of talking to puppies. Whoops.

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